


why don't you love me (kiss me)

by past piginawig (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 5 Times Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-19
Updated: 2013-02-19
Packaged: 2017-11-29 20:05:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/past%20piginawig
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>five times louis won't let harry kiss him and the one time he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	why don't you love me (kiss me)

**five.**

“so,” louis muses. harry thinks his cheeks probably hurt from how hard he’s trying not to smile. “a record deal.”

“seems like it,” liam agrees. the five boys are piled in the back of a large and black suv with tinted windows and harry vaguely wonders if this is the new normal for them, now that they’re officially signed recording artists. “wonder what flat complex we’ll be moving into?”

“hopefully a fancy one,” niall’s voice is soft like he’s tired. harry flicks a button on his phone and understands - it’s past two in the morning. “i want one o’ those big spa bathtubs.”

“i just want my own fuckin’ bedroom,” zayn sighs. louis snorts.

“getting more than that, aren’t we? each of us a flat to ourselves.”

“not me!”

harry quirks an eyebrow at louis. certainly he didn’t mean the promise he made, two weeks into the live shows. but he says, “me and hazza are sharing, decided it months ago!”

harry’s mouth splits into a grin and he knows his cheeks are red. he’s thankful for the darkness in the car. he doesn’t know what to say but he’s saved by the driver announcing they’d reached the hotel. the boys pile out and trudge themselves inside, heading for the elevator.

“spend the night, hazza?” louis asks, voice close to harry’s ear. harry smiles and nods. when they reach their floor, the other three boys taper off into separate rooms and harry follows louis. 

“watch a movie?” harry suggests, once his jeans are off and the tv is on. louis gasps, mock offended.

“harold, we are proper music stars now! contract and everything! how could you think to be so boring?”

harry shrugs. “i dunno, aladdin is on.”

louis’s face breaks out into a grin. 

“knew i picked a good best mate,” louis says. harry feels his heart lurch.

“gonna go to the toilet,” harry mutters, standing and leaving louis alone. he shuts the door behind him, turning the sink on and splashing his face with cold water. he looks himself in the mirror and doesn’t think he looks different from the morning before - curly hair, green eyes, baby fat clinging to his cheeks. but he is different. he’s an official signed recording artist and it still hasn’t quite sunk in yet.

he dries his face and flushes the toilet for good measure and walks back into the hotel room where louis’ removed his own trousers and shirt and is laying in bed in just his boxers. harry nods at him and climbs into the other bed before louis huffs at him and points at the empty space next to himself.

harry acquiesces, climbing next to louis and pressing his cold feet against louis’. louis squeals and reaches over to tickle him. harry doesn’t know why it happens, but he’s looking up at louis, at the fringe swinging from his forehead and his sparkling eyes and he just leans up and kisses him. it’s soft and quick and harry’s head is back against the pillow within a second, but louis’ stopped his tickle attack and is just staring down at harry with a confused look on his face, his eyes guarded instead of sparkling.

“harry,” he whispers. “you’re tired.”

harry shakes his head.

“yeah,” louis nods his own, and then he leans down slowly and presses his lips to harry’s cheek. when he pulls away, he flips himself back on his own side of the bed. “you’re tired,” he repeats, like he’s trying to convince himself.

“okay,” harry agrees, even though he isn’t tired at all. louis nods his head again. “okay.”

and they don’t talk after that.

**four.**

harry isn’t sure what city they’re in or what day it is or what  _month_  it is. all he knows are the words to their songs and that the four boys surrounding him are his favorite people in the world.

his heart’s still pounding and he’s got sweat in all sorts of weird places but his band has just performed their first headlining show on their headlining tour and none of the uncomfortable things matter. someone jumps on his back and he only knows it’s niall because of the shoe he sees swing beneath his arm.

zayn dashes by to his right and liam and louis are close behind, louis’ limbs flying and knocking into harry, sending he and niall into a wall. they crash land, arms and feet in a tangle and suddenly the loud laughs of five boys are all anyone can hear.

it doesn’t last long, the impromptu dogpile that ensues. there are security and people from their team immediately pulling them off of each other, scowling and telling them to be professional. louis is standing behind a beefy man who is chewing harry out, making silly faces and it takes everything harry has in him not to laugh.

it’s not long before they’re being shoved through the corridor toward the back exit where a car is waiting for them, but then louis is shouting, “wait! my shoe!” and he breaks free from the group. harry doesn’t wait for a moment, doubling back and following louis. he catches up quickly because he’s had a growth spurt and louis hasn’t, and almost runs into louis as he bends over to grab his fallen shoe.

louis makes a startled (and girly) (and shrill) noise and harry barks a laugh at him. louis shoves him and they ignore their handlers yelling at them to hurry up.

“hold me up,” louis commands, then braces himself against harry as he lifts a leg to put on his shoe. he’s tying the laces when they both lose balance and flail a bit, harry’s back landing with a thud against the wall. louis’ chest is pressed to his and their eyes and their noses and their lips are so _close_  and harry is moving forward before he even thinks about it but louis is quicker, yanking himself backward and shaking his head at harry. then he just says, “adrenaline, haz,” and runs toward where everyone’s waiting for them.

harry just shakes his head, confused, and follows.

**three.**

harry flops himself down on niall’s stomach. niall makes an exaggerated  _oof_  sound because he just finished eating a burrito. harry belatedly figures he’s probably pretty lucky not to be covered in puke.

harry doesn’t say anything, just sighs loudly and dramatically. niall snorts and harry wonders if he’ll do more than just make noises at him or if harry will have to spell things out.

harry cranes his neck to look at niall. niall rolls his eyes. “what do you want,” he says. it’s not much of a question but harry will take it.

he groans and rolls off of niall and onto the mattress itself. “louis won’t let me kiss him.”

niall laughs, loud and bellowing. harry glares at him until he calms down.

“is this a serious issue, because i can never completely tell when you’re fucking with me.”

“yes!” harry tugs on his curls in frustration and then kicks his legs in the air. he hopes this is enough to show niall he is serious.

“okay,” niall says, patting his tummy to placate him. harry calms his flailing body parts. “have you actually tried to kiss him?”

“yes,” harry whines, “twice. the first time he said i was tired and the second time he blamed adrenaline.”

niall snorts again.

“niall.”

“well, i mean,” niall shrugs, “they could both be legitimate reasons. do you want to kiss him outside of your sleepy or energized moments?”

harry kicks his feet again.

and then louis, liam, and zayn waltz into the hotel room. liam is sweaty and obviously just finished with a workout. zayn and louis are not sweaty and obviously just finished watching liam workout and not actually doing anything themselves. harry’s heart hurts a little bit at the sight of louis.

niall opens his mouth and harry hates his entire life.

“what’s the best reason to kiss someone?” he asks. liam immediately frowns as though giving the question serious thought. zayn quirks an eyebrow in confusion and louis’ eyes narrow in on harry.

there’s silence in the room until liam says, “to show your affection.”

“because they’re hot,” zayn answers.

“only if you want to be in a serious relationship with them,” louis says. he’s still staring at harry. harry wants the floor to open up and swallow him whole.

“really?” niall asks.

louis nods. “i only kiss people if i’m serious about them and they’re serious about me.”

harry’s stomach is in his throat. niall nudges him. “what about you, hazza?”

harry just shrugs. he’s not entirely sure what just happened, but he thinks it means that louis never wants to be in a relationship with him. a week later, when louis announces he has a girlfriend, harry  _knows_  that’s what it means. 

**two.**

harry is not smashed.

he’s _not_.

no matter how much he has or hasn’t had to drink, he maintains that he is not drunk.

he’s been out at a club with nick and some of his friends, with odd hair colors and odd clothes and odd names harry isn’t sure are actually real. it’s been fun but harry is tired. the bright lights are giving him a headache and the stuffiness of the club makes him feel a bit nauseous, so he nods a goodbye to nick and steps out and down the row of paparazzi to the car waiting for him. he climbs in the back and checks his mobile.

no missed calls. no texts.

he opens his messages and clicks on his conversation with louis just to make sure his phone isn’t hiding the fact that louis has texted him (it’s not). he sighs, slumping back in his seat and typing out another message. he assumes it’s going to go unanswered, just like the last four, that had gotten less and less legible as he got (yes, fine, he’ll admit it) drunker.

_why did you break up with her?_

_why louis why why whw hy_

_ignoring me how rude louis wyh_

_lllooooiiiuss why????????????????_

he clicks send and then re-reads what he wrote.

_this not how u treat bset friend lou_

he doesn’t realize how much time has passed (he possibly fell asleep, he’s not sure) by the time the car has pulled up in front of his house. he’s walking up the driveway and stops dead in his tracks at the sight of louis’ car.

he hears the front door open and louis’ walking out of his house toward him, a frown set on his face.

“harry,” he mutters, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and guiding him inside. “have fun drunk texting me all night?”

harry shakes his head and pouts. “no i did not, thank you for asking.”

louis snorts and leads him to the couch. harry falls onto it. he vaguely hears louis mumble, “graceful.”

harry lays down and groans, stomach rolling.

“i’ll make you some tea,” louis announces, and harry sits up quickly, ignoring the head rush.

“wait!” louis stops and turns. harry licks his lips. louis stares. “can you please kiss me?”

louis’ eyes widen and his mouth drops open a little bit. 

“please?” harry asks again, twisting his fingers together in his lap. louis keeps staring.

“ _harry_ ,” he chokes, then swallows. “i- you’re so drunk right now.”

harry shakes his head vigorously. “doesn’t matter, lou. doesn’t matter.”

louis smiles, really small, and harry thinks it looks sad. “you’re really fucking drunk right now.”

and then he goes into the kitchen to make harry tea. harry doesn’t remember anything after that.

**one.**

louis never gives a direct answer to anyone (that harry knows of) as to why he and eleanor broke it off. harry’s not sure he even wants one, is just thankful that he did.

they’re in the recording studio. liam is in the booth and harry and louis are watching him and making fun of his eyebrows. niall is sitting on a couch tweeting and zayn is sleeping with his head on niall’s lap. the day is pretty average.

“hungry,” louis announces.

harry snorts. “how caveman of you. not even a full sentence, just ‘hungry’.”

louis elbows him in the ribs and then grabs his wrist, pulling him along as they head for the break room. louis is digging in his wallet for change and coming up empty. and then he pouts at harry.

“you’re a multi-millionaire and you can’t afford a packet of crisps from a vending machine?” harry shakes his head, pulling a one from his own wallet. he holds it out to louis and when louis reaches out to grab it, he yanks his hand back. louis frowns. “‘s gonna cost you.”

louis quirks an eyebrow. “what’s it gonna cost me, exactly?”

harry shrugs his shoulders and smirks. he looks up at louis’ eyes and then down at louis’ lips. “a kiss.”

he says it quietly, almost like a question. he’s terrified, stomach twisting and hands shaking, as he watches for louis’ reaction. he knows there’s no excuse louis can use in this moment. he’s not tired, or excited, or drunk, and louis doesn’t have a girl waiting in the wings.

but louis shakes his head. “harry.”

it’s not “no,” but it’s close enough. harry thinks his lungs are closing up on him because suddenly it hurts to breathe.

“we’re-” harry chokes out. he pauses. “we’ve been best friends for almost four years and there always feels like there’s something-  _more_ \- and i-“

“no,” louis interrupts, and he steps toward the door. “i can’t- i’m not going to be another one of your fuck buddies. i don’t- i don’t do that, and i don’t want to do that, even with you. i can’t-“

and then he leaves.

**and the one time he does.**

it’s been four hours since he and louis spoke in the break room but it feels like four lifetimes to harry. they’re all headed back to louis’ house because it’s the closest to the studio and it’s after midnight and they just have to go back and record more in the morning. harry would honestly rather go to nick’s and have a nice shoulder to cry on but he’s not going to say anything. louis’ staring resolutely out the window, not speaking unless he has to, the same way he has been all day.

harry is pressing buttons on his phone, scrolling through his settings with no real aim. he just wants to look busy so no one speaks to him.

when they reach louis’ house, the boys all climb out and no one says anything. they enter the front door and louis walks straight into the kitchen so harry walks straight into the guest bathroom.

he shucks his clothes and gets into the shower, squirting too much of louis’ shampoo out of the bottle out of a strange fleeting feeling of vengeance. it quickly passes and then harry feels guilty, resolving to buy a new bottle the next time he’s at the store.

he keeps his mind on mundane things and runs through the lyrics of some new songs in his head. he finishes the shower quickly and dries himself, putting his pants back on and leaving his clothes on the floor. he’s got pajama bottoms in a drawer in the guest bedroom.

when he exits, only louis is sitting on the couch, sipping on a beer and watching telly. he guesses the other boys have taken over the guest bedrooms and he’ll be left for the sofa. he also guesses he’ll have to borrow louis’ sleep pants.

he gathers his courage and walks into the living room, taking a seat next to louis.

“hi,” he says quietly. louis sets his drink on the coffee table and looks at him.

“you’re practically naked, harry,” is all he says.

harry nods. “was wondering if i could borrow something?”

louis just nods and stands, walking toward the stairs. harry follows closely behind and stands awkwardly in the doorway as louis digs through a drawer. he finally comes across a pair of sport shorts that he tosses to harry. 

“thanks,” he mumbles and turns to leave.

“stop,” louis’ voice is soft but harry hears him. he turns back to louis, whose cheeks are red. “‘m sorry. for freaking out at you.”

“i-” harry’s mouth flops open and closed a few times. “i don’t really know what to say to that, honestly.”

“you know i don’t do the whole. like. fuck buddy shit. i don’t like that. i like.”

he just stops.

harry breathes out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“i don’t-” harry mumbles. he looks down at the floor. “that’s not what i want from you, lou.”

“um,” louis replies. “what do you. what do you keep trying to kiss me for?”

“ok,” harry breathes out again, and then looks up. “i want more than a fuck buddy thing with you. i want. like. i want more than that, yeah?”

“like a,” louis pauses, “a relationship?”

harry just nods miserably. his heart isn’t even beating quickly like usual - it’s slowing down. harry momentarily wonders if god’s going to do him a favor and just let him die, because it would probably be easier than this conversation.

“i didn’t realize.”

harry lets out a humorless laugh and turns to leave again. he’s barely down the hall when louis’ grabbing his wrist and stopping him.

“wait, harry. i want.”

harry just stares as louis searches for the right words but they never come.

and then finally, “can i kiss you?”

harry watches dumbly as louis leans forward, brushing a hand against his cheek, and presses his lips against harry’s.

“oh,” harry mumbles, against louis’ lips. louis chuckles softly and then presses harder and then neither of them are talking or laughing anymore.

harry doesn’t even realize that louis is maneuvering him until his back hits the bedroom door, and he tries to figure out how he even got turned around but then louis’ lips are moving against his jaw, nipping softly at the skin there and pulling a groan from his throat.

louis drags his mouth down to his neck, licking a stripe up behind his ear and causing harry to giggle, pinching louis in the side.

“tickles,” he mumbles, and louis bites the lobe of his ear. “okay.”

he feels louis’ laugh vibrate against his skin and then he’s grabbing him by the hips, pulling him into the bedroom and he loses a bit of time when louis attaches their lips again but suddenly he’s lying on his back on louis’ bed. louis’ knees are on either side of his hips and his hands are above his shoulders.

louis’ lips immediately find their way to harry’s collarbone and now his heart is pounding and he knows louis can feel it but he doesn’t care because he  _wants_.

“want everything,” harry breathes. he feels louis smile against his skin. “please kiss me again.”

so louis does, and this time harry flicks his tongue out, running it along louis’ bottom lip and clutching onto louis’ back when he feels him moan in the back of his throat. louis’ tongue sneaks out too and then they’re battling for dominance that harry gives easily, letting louis’ tongue into his mouth. he runs his hands up and down louis back, pulling at the shirt he’s wearing. louis disconnects their mouths long enough to yank the shirt over his head, and then he’s leaning back down and licking into harry’s mouth.

louis’ tiny hands find their way to harry’s torso, running up and down the length of him and then down farther, laughing into harry’s mouth when he realizes the shorts are still bunched in harry’s hand.

he barely pulls away, just enough so they can see each other. “don’t think you need these, actually.” and he tosses them on the floor. harry grins and hooks his fingers in louis’ sleep trousers. louis quirks and eyebrow and helps harry tug them off, kicking them to the end of the bed.

it takes a moment for harry to realize they’re both in nothing but their pants, and louis is hovering over him and he’s suddenly aware of how achingly hard he is in his boxer briefs.

“lou,” he mutters, and then reaches up, wrapping a hand around louis’ back and pulling until their entire lengths are pressed together. he huffs out a breath at the feeling of louis’ erection against his hip. “ _fuck_.”

“‘s the idea,” louis smirks and harry barks a laugh, realizing that even sex between them would be absolutely ridiculous. louis keeps the smirk and ducks down, licking at harry’s collarbone and then lower, down the length of his abs and around his bellybutton.

harry groans and lifts his head, watching louis kiss the skin above his pants, carefully avoiding his cock. harry presses his hips up and squeezes his eyes shut at the little friction he gets, and almost immediately louis is tugging his pants down, exposing him to the cold air of the room.

“fuck,” he repeats when louis starts giving little kitten licks up and down the length of his cock. he sees the smirk somehow still evident in louis’ eyes and he’s ready to scream when louis’ mouth wraps around the tip, tongue flicking at the slit. harry’s head drops and he clenches his hands in the bedsheets.

louis’ hand wraps around the base as he lowers his mouth, little by little, and harry feels like he’s going to absolutely fucking die. 

harry isn’t sure if it’s because he hasn’t been blown in a while or because it’s louis, looking up at him through his lashes as he sucks and licks, but he’s not going to last at all. it’s barely a minute before harry’s thrusting into louis’ mouth, letting out little moans and cries. louis’ hands find their way to harry’s hips, holding him down and his mouth moves back up, just covering the tip and licking hot and wet all around. it’s not until harry feels one of louis’ own hands move from his hip that he realizes louis’ started to jerk himself and then harry’s coming, and louis’ swallowing, and harry’s almost entirely positive he’s dead.

he realizes he’s not dead when louis quickly crawls back over him, connecting their lips and thrusting his hot tongue in harry’s mouth. harry can taste himself and he immediately reaches for louis, pushing his small hand out of the way and wrapping his own around his cock.

“fuck,” louis mumbles. he starts moaning softly, tiny little gasps escaping his lips and hitting harry’s, as harry flicks his wrist and thumbs at louis’ slit. and then louis’ mouth is open and his eyes are shut and his forehead falls against harry’s as he comes between them. it’s a moment before his breathing is back to normal and he presses his nose against harry’s. their breaths are mingling and harry’s hands are running up and down louis’ sweaty back and it’s fucking perfect because it’s _them_ , finally. and then louis grins and asks, “can i kiss you again?”

and harry leans up to connect their lips because he doesn’t even need to ask.


End file.
